Amsterdam Sex Vacation.com

First of all, the red light district is basically safe. Sure, keep your eyes open and your money out of sight, but it is not as dangerous an area as you might think.

During the day, the red light district seems more like a neighborhood. People live there. People work there. People pass through there. But the ladies in the windows are there too. After dark, however, the red lights shine brighter, and the place becomes more exciting.

Prostitutes:
Just like every city and town around the world, Amsterdam has hookers. Unlike most cities, here they sit in windows with red lights. Not that you were thinking about it, but most women charge €50 for what they call a 'suck and fuck' (always with a condom). It takes about fifteen minutes, and probably won't be the most romantic experience you've ever had.

Naturally there also are more expensive call girls who work for escort services who will charge you a lot more for a 'date.' The most famous and upscale brothel in Amsterdam is Yab Yum at Singel 295. Your cabbie will be happy to tell you all about it and receive a commission for bringing you there. In Amsterdam, some prostitutes are trapped in debt and drugs, and many Eastern European and Asian women seem to be having quite a unique 'vacation' in Holland, but many are in control of their own destiny. These women rent their windows for € 50-75 for an eight-hour shift, and popular ones take in around €250-€400 a day. They fill out tax returns, and many belong to a loose union, the Red Thread.

Porno shops:
No one should be embarrassed or scared to poke their heads in a sex shop. These are legitimate stores run by real businessmen who pay (at least some of) their taxes. You won't be ripped off or intimidated.

Look through the magazines, but not too long. You can be sure that the man behind the counter knows "Hey, this isn't a library" in every language.


 
Real Live Sex Shows
Believe it or not, expect exactly what the signs promise. After haggling about the price with the multilingual doorman (discounts can usually be negotiated), you will be seated in a small cabaret theater.

One can expect most of the following: a vaginal muscle demonstration that involves gripping objects or dildos, a male stripper, a lesbian 69 number, and the grand finale: real live sex. But set your sights right. In the long run, it will probably turn out to be more interesting than erotic. But no matter how you slice it, a man and a woman will come on stage, engage in mechanical foreplay, work the gentleman to typical porno-style 3/4-erection, and have sex before your eyes. Write about that in your postcards home!

If you are interested in a higher-quality experience, the best show in the red light district is at the Theater Casa Rosso (Oudezijds Actherburgwal 106). No haggling about the price here; everybody pays the posted €25. But you get a choreographed, reasonably sexy show starring attractive men and women in a clean, well-lit theater. When we were at Casa Rosso, much to our surprise, a full third of the audience was women. If you show a Boom! magazine to the cashier (or print out this page), the first drink is on the house. So why not make it an expensive cocktail?

If the Casa Rosso is not enough for you, head down the street to the nastier Banana Bar (Oudezijds Achter-burgwal 37). This is a, uh, unique place where naked women alternate between filling your drinks and performing erotic parlor tricks, including their trademark banana routine.

For better or worse, the action happens on the bar right in front of your face. €40 includes all you can drink for an hour and an experience you won't soon forget. Best to go when its busy when there's more action as the Banana Bar is a place where someone has to pay to start a performance. Whether you want to be the focus of the show or near the person who is the focus of the show is up to you. Not surprisingly, the bachelor party mentality pervades at the Banana Bar and (clothed) women would definitely feel out of place.

Hash and Marijuana Bars
I had always heard about the Red Light District and was very curious, so we walked to this area of town after dinner (plus it was only a couple of blocks from our hotel- see the Grand Westin). The Red Light District was a surreal experience. Almost everything is legal- drugs (marijuana, hash), porn shops (with every possible type magazine, video, sex toy), live sex shows (strip joints to actual sex), and prostitution. The area seemed perfectly safe and many couples walked through the area. The police presence was appropriately visible and until really late at night the crowd did not get overly seedy (particularly if you stayed on the main thoroughfares). Some of the side alleys were a little scary but it was fairly easy to see where you shouldn’t go. It only takes a minute to figure out, but the coffee shops are actually the marijuana and hash bars. Once inside one of these bars, you can buy everything from fresh squeezed orange juice and hot chocolate to a variety of marijuana and hash. We went to two of the more prominent coffee shops on the first night – the Grasshopper and the Bulldog. The Grasshopper was a triple level complex that had dancing and music, a steakhouse, and several bars and lounge areas. We settled on the bottom level which was a fairly low key with a few tables a chairs and about 20 people engaged in a variety of activities. We ordered a couple of hot chocolates (which were actually very good) and tried to just get a feel for the place. After a few minutes we figured out how everything works. In addition to drinks, the bar sells paper and pipes (or you can borrow one) while an enclosed area that looked like a casino cage sold the drugs. A menu was available and you could choose from over 5 varieties of hash and 5 varieties of marijuana. I’m certainly not an authority on this, but most people felt the home grown Dutch marijuana was the best choice. You could get pre-rolled joints if requested. An interesting thing about drugs in Amsterdam is that the illegal drugs (i.e. cocaine, heroin, etc.) can be used if you just have it tested at a government sponsored testing facility (better to keep the drugs safe and track the distribution than crack down on people who have them - or so the theory goes). If adventurous, definitely go to one of the sex shows (you can haggle the price down - especially on slow nights). Also, check out the sex shops. You will be amazed by some of the stuff you see. Don't be afraid to try the hash bars. I thought it was great smoking a few joints and having some hash brownies while sipping orange juice or hot chocolate.